.........a world of vivid ethereal dreams full of bright lights and endless rainbows, enchanted forests and paperwinged faeries.
.....since i was a little girl, everything has always been handed out to me on the proverbial silver platter.....
growing up was easy but becoming an adult is really hard. i wish they gave out instruction manuals for making the transition from a girl to a woman. oh wait, they already have all those self-help books that help you master ways to seduce a gazillionaire and secure a "happy and successful" life, satisfaction guaranteed.
then again, i was never one to follow instructions or keep within the boundaries of rules, normality and all the other conceptual hogwash that are made up and imposed by ugly and stern-looking grown-up men (okay fff-ine, sometimes women) in their equally ugly and starched-stiff suits...............
i figure that if i had just an ounce more of dogged determination, i'd be a lil' miss somebody by now. i wouldn't be here-- bored, zombified in front of the pc whilst creating a "delusional" webpage. a pity though, that abandoning things halfway has always been as instinctive as a flip of my hand.
but then again, while sitting on my tush and feeling utterly incapable of accomplishing anything that might serve as a contribution for the greater good of mankind or something that sounds just as important, i do long for something more. mediocrity is something i will never consign my fate to.
gradually then suddenly, i will become the person i was always meant to be......... me.