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i dream of a world i once knew so well.......

  .........a world of vivid ethereal dreams full of bright lights and endless rainbows, enchanted forests and paperwinged faeries.

  i'm still trying hard to remember.

  .....since i was a little girl, everything has always been handed out to me on the proverbial silver platter.....

  maybe that's why i'm always discontent.

 i find myself feeling nostalgic for a childhood long gone.........

  growing up was easy but becoming an adult is really hard. i wish they gave out instruction manuals for making the transition from a girl to a woman. oh wait, they already have all those self-help books that help you master ways to seduce a gazillionaire and secure a "happy and successful" life, satisfaction guaranteed.

  here's a good one: "The Fabulous Girl's Guide To Decorum & Getting The Man Of Her Dreams".

how absogoddamnlutely boring.

 then again, i was never one to follow instructions or keep within the boundaries of rules, normality and all the other conceptual hogwash that are made up and imposed by ugly and stern-looking grown-up men (okay fff-ine, sometimes women) in their equally ugly and starched-stiff suits...............

  i've always marched along to my own beat, as most of you already know / are able to tell.

  i figure that if i had just an ounce more of dogged determination, i'd be a lil' miss somebody by now. i wouldn't be here-- bored, zombified in front of the pc whilst creating a "delusional" webpage. a pity though, that abandoning things halfway has always been as instinctive as a flip of my hand.

 quite tragic indeed.

 but then again, while sitting on my tush and feeling utterly incapable of accomplishing anything that might serve as a contribution for the greater good of mankind or something that sounds just as important, i do long for something more. mediocrity is something i will never consign my fate to.

  all i can do for now is dream.......... dream in order to be and believe in order to hopefully, become.

 gradually then suddenly, i will become the person i was always meant to be......... me.

•electric luv transmission•